Dying to Be Me: A Journey to True Healing

dying to be me

Because of my experience, I absolutely do strongly believe that we all have the capacity to heal ourselves as well as facilitate the healing of others. When we get in touch with that infinite place within us where we are Whole, then illness can’t remain in the body. And because we’re all connected, there’s no reason why one person’s state of wellness can’t touch others, elevating them and triggering their recovery. And when we heal others, we also heal ourselves and the planet. There’s no separation except in our own minds. – Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me

Aaaah, Anita Moorjani’s memoir is beautifully written. The title alone conveys a deeper meaning: Dying to Be Me, suggesting what makes us sick (“dying me”) is when we’re not being true to ourselves.

In other words, be yourself. That is the overarching message of the book, the same message that Anita received from “the other side” and is now passing on to us now.

I’ve had an AWE-ha moment when she said that this physical life on Earth is actually “the other side.” That our true home is the non-physical world, the spiritual realm. Awe-ha!

The first half of the book covers Anita’s story from her childhood, how she was raised with the traditional Indian culture and religious beliefs, meeting her now-husband, her cancer diagnosis, and accounts of her NDE (near-death experience).

The second half is where she shares everything she has realized from her NDE experience, most importantly, the real reason why she got cancer and the real cure that brought about her true healing.

What I love about NDE accounts such as Anita’s is it solidifies those spiritual teachings channeled from higher dimensions. Channeling is one thing, but to hear them straight from a person who has “been there, done that…” well, that says a lot!

And though I haven’t encountered NDE (and Anita says we don’t have to), I’ve had similar realizations in my own spiritual awakening. I’ve also come back to life and now living for the same reason that Anita has — living to be me.

Your turn!

Different Parts, Same Elephant

No one really knows the truth—not even Sister Mary. Religion is just a path for finding truth: Religion is not truth. It is just a path. And different people follow different paths.

Those words came from Anita’s mother at a young age when Anita questioned about God as she entered a Catholic school.

She was told that to win God’s favor, she needs to attend the church and study the bible, or else… hah! You know what comes after.

I know, growing up in the Philippines, a Catholic country, and having been educated in Catholic schools. Not to mention being awarded Best in Religion for 5 consecutive years — twice in elementary and thrice in high school — I know.

…Or so I thought. What I know now is that Catholic is just one path to God. Just as any other religion is.

Religion itself is only one path. Science could be another one. Technology, too. Not having a religion is also a path.

There are different paths to the same God just as there are different parts of the same elephant. We’re only touching one part. And that doesn’t make any other parts “wrong” or “bad”.

Religion serves its purpose when it acts not as walls that divide us, but as the bridge that connects us to one and all.

dying to be me

PS: The Path to Awesomeness is not the only path. But it’s an AWESOME path — I know!

Scared of Life

I found that the more I read about the disease, the more I was afraid of everything that could potentially cause it. I started to believe that everything created cancer—pesticides, microwaves, preservatives, genetically modified foods, sunshine, air pollution, plastic food containers, mobile phones, and so on. This progressed until eventually, I started to fear life itself.

Whew, reminds me of the time I got scared for my own life after being confined in the hospital for days due to the ill effects of hyperthyroidism.

For fear of getting unconscious given my frail health condition at the time, I didn’t want to go outside the house. What I realized later on, even now, is that I didn’t get scared of getting unconscious. I got scared of living!

It was not sickness or death that scared me. It was me scaring myself. I had let fear take control over me. Thank God, it was only for a brief period.

As for Anita, she was living in fear for most of her life. She was afraid of almost everything, especially when it comes to her health after witnessing how her best friend and a relative both suffered and died from cancer.

And as she confesses later in the book, all those fears manifested as cancer in her body.

Although she maintained a healthy lifestyle, she was doing it out of fear — fear of getting sick, fear of hospitals, and fear of even the alternative treatment methods due to their contradicting views.

Anita’s experience serves as an invitation for us to examine our own relation to life. Are we living in fear? Are we doing things out of fear?

Fear is the conventional approach. And the only viable alternative approach, one that heals everything is love.

dying to be me

Be Yourself, Fearlessly

To access this state of allowing, the only thing I had to do was be myself! I understood that at the core, our essence is made of pure love. We are pure love—every single one of us. Therefore, being love and being our true self is one and the same thing!

I understood that merely by being the love I truly am, I would heal both myself and others. I knew that was really the only purpose of life: to be our self, live our truth, and be the love that we are.

Anita had many realizations while she was in the other realm during her NDE. The most obvious one, of course, was that she’s not her body since she continued to exist and became more aware of everything beyond the confines of the physical world.

She became the awareness itself. She had the knowing of who she really was, who we all are at our core — we are Love.

So this was the parting message that her father and her best friend communicated to her in the other realm before her return to the world:

Now that you know the truth of who you really are, go back and live your life fearlessly!

That’s it! Just be yourself and live your life, fearlessly.

Fearless doesn’t mean you put up a false bravado. It means you no longer live life out of fear but from who you are — from love.

And though Anita was compelled to return with the purpose of sharing this message to the world, she knows that she didn’t have to do or pursue anything to make it happen. She now fully understands the spiritual laws of the Universe and how it works.

This is also the understanding that Anita wants us to remember. Yes, “remember” because we already know it. She says we’ve just been so caught up with our worldly concerns that we’ve forgotten the truth of who we really are.

Now that you remember the truth of who you really are, be yourself and live your life fearlessly!

dying to be me

Inside-Out View

I understood that true joy and happiness could only be found by loving myself, going inward, following my heart, and doing what brought me joy. I discovered that when my life seems directionless and I feel lost (which still happens to me frequently), what it really means is that I’ve lost my sense of self. I’m not connected with who I truly am and what I’ve come here to be.

Anita says the way we perceive the world is like being inside a dark warehouse with a flashlight. Our sense of sight is limited only to where the light is shone. But just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Her NDE is like someone suddenly switched ON the lights that allowed her to see everything in the entire warehouse. Everything already exists. And even if the switch is turned back off, it can no longer take away the newfound awareness she now has.

This larger perspective and inner knowing are what Anita wants us to have, too — from the inside out.

Regardless of what’s happening outside, no matter how “dark” the world may seem, all we have to do is switch ON the light that’s always within us to remind us of who we really are.

Anita advises us to remain centered at the essence of our being because it’s the only real place we ever are.

Instead of trying to change the external circumstances, we check our internal world and tend to it first and foremost.

anita moorjani

Awareness is the Cure

I’m at my strongest when I’m able to let go, when I suspend my beliefs as well as disbeliefs, and leave myself open to all possibilities. That also seems to be when I’m able to experience the most internal clarity and synchronicities. My sense is that the very act of needing certainty is a hindrance to experiencing greater levels of awareness. In contrast, the process of letting go and releasing all attachment to any belief or outcome is cathartic and healing. The dichotomy is that for true healing to occur, I must let go of the need to be healed and just enjoy and trust in the ride that is life.

So, what healed Anita? Nope, it wasn’t mind-over-matter stuff. It was neither the conventional treatment nor any other healing modalities (she tried everything!). It wasn’t also her beliefs.

In fact, she writes in her own words, “an absence of belief was required for my healing.”

She says that healing is not a state of thinking; it’s a state of being — a state that comes from pure awareness.

In that state, all previously held beliefs, both positive and negative, were completely released.

Before her NDE, she believed that she needed healing. She then realized it was that need that’s actually preventing the healing to take place. When the need was released, the “miracle” happened.

When I was willing to let go of what I wanted, I received what was truly mine.

Come to think of it, if we believe we need healing, underneath it, there’s a belief in the sickness, too. The same goes with anything else in life we believe we need.

Letting go of all beliefs is the doorway to all possibilities. And the key to it lies in our awareness.

anita moorjani

Being Love

I think the answer is simpler than it seems, and it’s one of the best-kept secrets of our time: the importance of self-love.

It all became so clear to me because I understood that to be me is to be love.

Realizing that I am love was the most important lesson I learned, allowing me to release all fear, and that’s the key that saved my life.

With awareness comes the knowing of who you really are — love. Therefore, to be yourself is to be love.

Self-love is exactly what it is: selflove. It’s inseparable.

What happens when you separate them? When you separate the self from the love that you are? You become your own version of yourself without love — the ego.

And what is being without love? Fear — where the ego lives — in separation.

But isn’t self-love egotistical? Isn’t it selfish? To that, Anita answers poignantly: “Selfishness comes from lack of self-love.” She says we, humans, are suffering from this. Not much love, too much ego — too much self.

Isn’t that what cancer is — too much of itself?

But even too much of itself is not enough for the ego. No matter what it has or does, it’s never enough. Yet, we try as hard as we can to compensate for that lack. We become human doing that we forget we’re human being.

Again, Anita reminds us there’s nothing that we need to do. We only have to be ourselves.

Being ourselves, being love, is more healing than anything else.

Self-love is what will heal yourself and the world.

dying to be me

Pure Allowing

The state of pure allowing seems like the place where most positive change can occur. Let yourself be you, no matter who you are, embracing anything that makes you feel alive.

No matter who you are — that includes your “dark side” or whatever it is that you judge as “wrong” or “bad” in your life, and most importantly, in you.

It’s not their “wrongness” or “badness”, but it is your judgment of them that makes them so.

The state of pure allowing is a non-judgmental state. You don’t judge something as “positive” or “negative” — it just is. You don’t label your experience — it’s just an experience. That’s what pure means — no judgment, no labels, no conditions.

It’s in that state where we experience unconditional love.

dying to be me

It doesn’t mean you won’t have negative thoughts or emotions anymore. As long as we’re humans, we have an ego through which we experience them.

Because Anita’s back to her human form, having an ego, here’s how she deals with it:

If and when I notice negative thoughts creeping in, it seems best to allow them to pass through with acceptance and without judgment. When I try to suppress or force myself to change my feelings, the more I push them away, the more they push back. I just allow it all to flow through me, without judgment, and I find that the thoughts and emotions will pass. As a result, the right path for me unfolds in a totally natural way, letting me be who I truly am.

So, give yourself a break. Your “dark side” is also a part that makes you whole. Let it shine!

Life of Ease

The more effort I have to put into trying to attain it, the more I know that I am doing something wrong. Allowing, on the other hand, doesn’t require effort. It feels more like a release, because it means realizing that since everything is One, that which I intend to get is already mine.

Not only does pure allowing makes you more of who you are, but it also leads to allowing the best possibilities for your life to unfold.

Most love, least effort, remember? I tell myself often, “Fred, if you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.” Even if I don’t prefer what I’m doing or what’s happening at the moment, I always try to find a way to enjoy it.

That’s what Anita is telling us, to simply be in this moment and enjoy it to the fullest. Never mind the future. Just trust that everything is unfolding perfectly for you. Because it truly is.

Anita says there’s nothing outside of you. To think so means living in separation. What we want is to live in harmony because that puts us in flow with life.

It happens by first trusting and then by always being true to yourself. In that way, whatever is in store for you is truly yours — as it is for everyone.

anita moorjani

Prism of Love

Unconditional love is like pure, white light. When you shine it through a prism, it refracts into all the different colors of the rainbow. These represent our emotions—joy, love, anxiety, envy, compassion, hate, empathy, and so on.

Each of us is like a prism, refracting pure white light (love) into all the different colors of the rainbow, and all of the hues (emotions) are equally needed for the whole.

When white light passes through a prism, we can see it being refracted into seemingly separate individual colors.

But they are not really separate. Each of them is a fragment of the entire color spectrum.

Anita likens us to that prism through which the light of unconditional love passes through. We are the different colors of the same rainbow.

It’s unlikely that we’d judge the orange color as “evil” or the yellow one as “sinful”. It could symbolize something personally for us, or we could associate some meaning to them, but in and of itself, it’s just a color.

The color is simply an individual expression of the light. The same is true of our essence being individuated expressions of love.

That expression is unique for each of us. It’s expressed through our personalities, our talents and skills, including what we deem “flaws” or imperfections.

There’s no judgment. You are perfect as you are.

dying to be me

Heaven is a State on Earth

I came back with the understanding that heaven truly is a state and not a place, and I’ve found that bliss has followed me here to Earth. I know this sounds really strange, but I even feel that our “true home” is also only a way of being and not a location. Right now, I feel that I’m home. I have no desire to be anywhere else. It makes no difference to me now whether I’m here or in the other realm. It’s all just different parts of the experience of our greater, expanded, infinite, magnificent self. Our real home is within each of us and follows us wherever we go.

“Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth? Ooh heaven is a place state on Earth…” Hah!

I’m guessing this became the prologue to Anita’s sequel, What If This Is Heaven? And as much as I’d love to get my hands on that book, I’m guessing I no longer need to since I’m already living the answer to it.

We’re all in it! There’s no heaven up there or hell down below. Because they’re not a place, but rather a state of being.

dying to be me

In the Q&A portion of the book, Anita touches on other facets of life besides health, like relationships, money, religion, and a lot more. But at their core, the foundation is one’s state of being.

For instance, she says what makes people do “bad” things, what makes them “criminals” or “murderers”, is when they lost the connection with their heavenly being. They feel like living in “hell” and so they inflict their own pain and suffering onto others.

Another great point is the difference between being of service and performing a service. Anita says the act of service may be the same, but how it’s served is what truly serves, not the act itself.

If it’s only due to obligation, then it’s really not serving anyone. But if you come from the center of your being, which is your natural state, then you become the service yourself.

Only in that state can you truly be of service to others. Anita tells us it’s the highest form of self-love — being the love that you are in whatever you do, wherever you are.

With that, I’ll leave you with Anita’s words that says it all:

The only universal solution I have is to love yourself unconditionally and be yourself fearlessly!


dying to be me anita moorjani course


Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

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PS: Thank you for taking the time to read. Tell me, what insight most resonated with you? Let me know by leaving a comment below.


ANITA MOORJANI is the New York Times best-selling author of Dying to Be Me, What if This Is Heaven? and Sensitive is the New Strong. After her cancer diagnosis in 2002, Moorjani was taken to a hospital in 2006 where she lay in a coma for 30 hours, during which Moorjani claims to have undergone a Near Death Experience (NDE). Now completely cancer-free, Anita travels the globe, giving talks and workshops, as well as speaking at conferences and special events. She has dedicated her life to empowering people’s minds and hearts with her story of courage and transformation.

Visit her at anitamoorjani.com

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