Meditation is a practice of being a student and a teacher all at once. It opens us up to wisdom and a level of self-love that we never thought possible. It’s a practice of deep connection, constant learning, inspired curiosity, and confident answering. – Rebekah Borucki, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life
This book is all about meditation, the one practice that can truly change your life. Rebekah, or “Bex” for short, shares her own experience with meditation, which she discovered at the age of 15 and later was able to develop 4-minute simple and easy-to-do practices that are suited for her busy lifestyle as a mom, fitness, and yoga instructor, speaker, and TV host.
Yep! This is for the “busy” people, which most of us would belong to… unless you’re a monk!
What stood out for me was Bex’s authenticity. She was not trying hard to express what she wanted to share in her writing. Plain “girl talk” like you’re simply having a casual conversation with your gal. There was nothing esoteric. Even if you’re non-spiritual and you know nothing about meditation, you’d find this book an easy read. You’d feel relaxed and enjoying yourself while doing the meditation practices.
There are 27 practices to choose from. Each chapter discusses a specific meditation practice for de-stressing, healing, relationships, success, abundance, life purpose — you name it. They are all doable whether you’re at home, at the office, or stuck in traffic — all under 4 minutes.
Bex promises that when you commit to them, these 4-minute meditation practices will make a difference in your life!
So, why isn’t every person on the planet practicing meditation on a daily basis? Like every other great Universal Truth – which are all super simple messages when broken down – meditation has been plagued by mystery and misconceptions. The practice of meditation has also been overcomplicated by some who would have you believe there’s only one way to meditate – their way. Well, I believe meditation is for everyone, and there are as many effective ways to do it as there are people on the planet.
For someone who has practiced meditation over the years, Bex noticed these 3 common myths people have with meditation:
Myth #1: Meditation is about not thinking about anything. Can you not think for hours straight? Almost impossible! Instead of trying to empty your mind of all thoughts, try to focus on just one thought. Meditation is more about becoming an observer of thoughts. Try to observe the space, the silence between the thoughts. That’s what “emptiness” is about.
Myth #2: You have to meditate for long periods of time. Don’t force yourself to meditate longer than what feels comfortable. The benefits of meditation come from the quality of time, not quantity. Can you find a quiet place where you can sit undisturbed for a few minutes? Can you close your eyes for a few deep breaths? As Bex demonstrates, 4 minutes are more than enough.
Myth #3: Meditation is about spirituality. Have you seen the scientific findings about meditation? It’s a practical tool for managing stress and maintaining mental, emotional, and physical health. Meditation doesn’t belong to any religion or philosophy.
Bex assures us that there’s virtually no way to fail at meditation. Why not bust these myths and find out for yourself?
When I meditate from a place of quiet observation, it’s an opportunity for me to hear and see myself right where I am in the moment. I just listen to myself and acknowledge what I’m feeling. It’s a practice of unconditional, nonjudgmental compassion. I’m not trying to change anything.
Quick-fix is a natural human tendency when dealing with problems. When life seems to get out of control, we want to get back in control ASAP!
But what we really need when we’re going through challenges is not some quick-fix solution. Often, we just want someone to hear and see us, to listen and acknowledge that we’re going through a difficulty.
During meditation, we become that someone to ourselves.
When we’re caught in extreme chaos, it would be difficult to put ourselves in order immediately. We’d be anxious to get out of anxiety. Bex calls it “layering,” which only makes matters worse.
What she’s suggesting is we have to meet ourselves where we are, instead of trying to take ourselves to another place.
Meditation practice helps us to just be in the moment, no matter how that moment may appear for us. Ironically, when we are able to meet ourselves in anxious or stressful moments, peace also meets us there.
Body of Honor
Meditation became my road map to honoring, respecting, and accepting the body I have. I believe it can do that for you, too, whether you need to lose weight, whether you have an eating disorder that makes it hard to eat at all, or whether you just struggle to be OK with how you look.
Meditation is an act of self-love. But most people (and Bex is voicing out for women) find it hard to love their bodies. So she’s giving everyone a break: we don’t have to think of our bodies as “beautiful” or even loveable.
If “love” doesn’t sound appropriate for you yet, use “honor” or “respect” instead. You do that by accepting your body as it is without thinking it’s beautiful. You acknowledge your perceived imperfections, but still, accept your body in spite of them.
You can honor your body without needing to focus on how it looks. You honor it for many other reasons. For one, it is your physical vessel to experience human life.
Meditation helps you have that recognition for your body. With practice, you begin to make choices that reflect that honor and respect for yourself. Maybe, you lean more toward a healthy diet and regular exercise.
The change you experience with meditation does not happen on the outside. It happens from the inside out.
The Common Purpose
I believe there’s a common purpose that we all share – to love and to be loved, to learn, and to teach.
Bex believes that each of us has a unique purpose. But discovering that doesn’t come instantaneously. It will take time and some digging within.
However, we don’t have to wait for that specific life mission in order to live a life with a sense of purpose. Because there’s a common purpose we share in whatever individual way we choose. These are:
- To love – the love we express on a daily basis toward ourselves and others. It’s about the love for the day-to-day moments of our lives, the people around us, and the things we’re able to do.
- To be loved – we allow ourselves to receive love from others. We acknowledge the support and appreciation we receive from others. Bex says this can provide clues where we can be of service to others and probably build a career around it.
- To learn – if we approach life with an open mind and heart, we’ll see teachers everywhere — even the “haters”. It’s the ability to observe life from a place of curiosity.
- To teach – you share what you’ve learned with others. It inspires you to learn more so you can continue passing it on. You inspire others too and it becomes a domino effect, which gradually changes the world for the better.
The Wonderful By-Product
Confidence is the wonderful by-product of the realization of your purpose, combined with the dutiful dedication to expressing that purpose. You’ve been given a very important mission that you must fulfill, and carrying out that mission is going to require a bit of confidence.
Confidence is a “by-product,” meaning to say it doesn’t come before finding out what your mission is. It comes after and along with fulfilling that mission.
Bex says that confidence doesn’t manifest only in the absence of fear. We can have fear and still express ourselves confidently.
She reminds us that we are not our fear. It’s only something we might have at the moment. Having it means we can let go of it too.
And as you let go of fear, it is replaced by your faith in God, the trust you put in the Universe knowing that it set you on that mission in the first place. That knowing is what gives you confidence.
You may not believe in yourself yet, but you will eventually as you continue to connect with your purpose.
Icing on the Cake
I have learned that when we enter a relationship with a deficit, we’re starving, and the relationship is just a Band-Aid on an open wound.
The more I learned to accept and appreciate myself, the more the love I received from others was icing on the cake. And the more I believed I was worthy of love, the more love came my way.
Would you want your relationships to become just a Band-Aid in your life?
It’s the reason why most relationships fail. We seek healing for our wounds from outside of ourselves. Our worth as a person deserving of love always comes from others.
We crave love, but we keep on needing others to satisfy our hunger. When the other person can no longer satisfy us, we crave another.
On the other hand, Bex says when we enter a relationship full of our own sense of self-worth, we have the patience to wait for a nourishing meal that we can savor and enjoy.
Our relationship is rooted in the fullness of our worthiness, not from a need to fill the emptiness.
The good life that we already have on our own only gets better. Our relationship becomes an icing on the cake that makes love even sweeter!
Love is Easy
Love maintains itself. There’s no need to tend to it or “keep it alive.” You can’t kill love. When you’re experiencing a lack or loss of love in a relationship, love is simply being edged out by all the stuff that isn’t love – jealousy, selfishness, insecurity, busyness, desperation, and fear – manifestations of ego.
Dr. Wayne Dyer defines the ego as an acronym for “edging God out.” God is Love. It is ever-present in the Universe. It is always within and everywhere around us, but it is our job to make room for it in our lives.
A Course in Miracles teaches us “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
What are those barriers? All those stuff that isn’t love — the fear-based emotions that are all rooted in the ego, which edges God (love) out.
Bex rephrases it this way: “We don’t have to work hard on keeping love around. The work is in keeping fear at bay.”
Love is easy. It’s the ego that makes us think it’s hard.
Pain as Opportunity
The pain that results from loss is an example of a challenge that can be turned into an opportunity. How we view loss and learn from pain is our choice. Every difficulty we survive grows the soul. We become stronger through every tragedy – if it’s our will to do so.
Most of us fail to notice those barriers that the ego instilled in us, so life presents us with challenges to help bring them into our awareness. And most of the time, the challenges come in some form of loss — loss of health, loss of wealth, loss of relationship — losses that are painful.
Because we don’t want to let go of that form we’ve become attached to, we hold on to the pain. We don’t see the opportunity that comes with the perceived loss. We can’t learn the lesson brought by pain.
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
When we choose to hold on to pain, we also hinder our growth. We become stuck with our emotions.
Bex reminds us that life goes on whether we choose to live in the present moment or stay in the past with the pain, which only leads to suffering.
Embrace the pain until it no longer hurts. Then, choose to let go. There’s more to life that is waiting for you.
Blessing in the Breaking
When the breaking happens to us, the layers of conditioning and fears that cover our purpose begin to fall away. The breaking is what forces us to peel back the layers, look within, and reveal the beauty of who we really are. The breaking cracks us open so that the light of our true selves is revealed.
There goes the purpose of pain — to reveal who we really are and uncover our purpose. That’s the blessing in the breaking.
And meditation is a primary tool that helps us recognize the breaking for what it really is — a blessing.
Bex shares a beautiful analogy of a broken bottle whenever we see ourselves “broken.” Being broken doesn’t make us less of who we are.
A broken glass has the same ability as a diamond to reflect light and the beautiful colors of the rainbow. In fact, it’s the cuts that allow them to reflect the light the most. The cuts are what makes them precious.
To paraphrase a saying, “The crack is where the light enters in.”
Here’s another way to put it: “The cut is where the light shines out.”
You may be broken. But you’re polished to become a diamond.
You already are!
You haven’t been damaged by what’s happened to you. You’ve been strengthened. In every moment, with every breath, the Universe has been strengthening you for your path. You’re ready for whatever’s coming your way because you’ve survived battle. You’re a warrior.
It gives a completely different perspective. Because too often we label ourselves “damaged” and we forget the blessing that emerged from what happened in our lives.
We’re not damaged. We’re strengthened.
Bex explains that just as love doesn’t exist only in the total absence of fear, strength doesn’t exist only in the total absence of weakness.
You’ve been through a lot. In spite of all that, you’re still here because nothing can kill the human spirit — the essence of love, which is who you really are. “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”
And who you are is a Warrior of Love.
Here’s an inspiring parting message Bex has for you:
Dear Warrior: You are ready. Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve seen, and everything that has been done to you has prepared you for this moment.
If you’re waiting for a sign… THIS. IS. IT!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
REBEKAH “BEX” BORUCKI, founder of BEXLIFE® and the BLISSED IN® wellness movement, is a mother of five, TV host, meditation guide, author, speaker, birth doula, fitness and yoga instructor, and popular social media personality. She also travels extensively, sharing her love for yoga, wellness, and meditation at exclusive workshops, luxury retreats, and public events. Website: bexlife.com